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Joke of the Day

"I bought a pack of pencils and one was unsharpened. I thought it was pretty pointless"

Next Joke
 
"I was arrested at a New Year's party last night I'm sorry, but when you hear an Arab counting down from 10 your fight or flight instincts kick in..."
"You must work at subway...cause you`re givin` me a foot long."
"I would bring my dog a nice jerky treat from Colorado, but he only eats local, sustainable cat turds."
"I'll sleep when my iPhone's dead."
"9/11 Never Forget About Dre."
"My wife and I got into an argument she said 'you should treat me like I'm the last woman on earth' I said- what, lock you down in the basement and let men cum on your face for a million dollars?"
"what do you think of the number 4? you mean like on a scale of 1 to 10? stolen from: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/31g6qc/i_am_a_don_hertzfeldt_filmmaker_ama/cq1dzn8"
"Have you heard the one about the 10 apples and 8 of them were good? ... 2 bad."
"What's long green and smells like pork scratchings? Kermit the frogs finger."