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Joke of the Day

"What's long green and smells like pork scratchings? Kermit the frogs finger."

"Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once."

"A Muslim extremist, a Democrat, and Hillary supporter walk into a bar.... 49 people die, 53 more are injured"

"What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine? They both don't work and always take your money"

"What crime did the viticulturist get imprisoned for? Grape."

"TIFU by changing TIFU's meaning to make a joke. Today I fished (for) up-votes by ( insert made up story )."

"If it acts like a duck, sounds like a duck and looks like a duck, then it is probably some girl on Instagram taking a selfie."

"I taught my son never to quit ... ... now he always uses force quit."

"On Canada Day, I like to say ""HAPPY CANADA DAY!"" to people. But quietly. And from a distance. I don't want to be a bother."

"What does a Jedi say after a tragic loss of life? ""May my thoughts be with them""."