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Joke of the Day

"If you're worried about not getting a New Year's Eve kiss this year, just remember Valentine's Day is coming up and you're probably going to be alone for that, too."

"A new species of fish have evolved to have wrists They're called metacarpals."

"There's a fine line between being tan and looking like you were rolled in Doritos."

"Two canibals are having a meal . . . One looks at the other and says, ""Man I hate my mother-in-law!"" The second one shrugs and replies, ""Then try some of the potatoes."""

"Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to the bar. Why the bar? To get to the toilet. Why the toilet? Because that's where all the cocks hang out."

"I don't understand why everyone thinks the KKK are racist. Every week at our meetings there's always loads of black people hanging around."

"I visited Amsterdam this summer, and decided to have sex with a prostitute. It was an overall positive experience. Sadly, it was an HIV positive experience."

"I just saw a picture of a duck posing and doing a dumbwhitegirlface."

"Barkeep. Send a drink over to little ms. thang over there. Tell her it's from me Sir, that's a Ms. Pac-Man machine *raises glass, winks*"

"How many Mexicans does it take to pave a driveway? Six, if you slice them thin enough."