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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a piano, a tuna fish, and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna. ... What about the pot of glue? I knew you'd get stuck."

"If everyone contributes a small amount of their income... Together we can pool the resources to defeat socialism."

"My mom asked me a question and when I went to answer she said, ""Hold on I can't hear you. I gotta turn on the light."" The dark was too loud?"

"Ever since Crystal signed my yearbook in 4th grade, all of my summers have been rad and I haven't changed, just like she asked."

"Unfortunately..... Nobody wants to have sex with your inner beauty."

"Dropped my son for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you're supposed to pick them up?"

"Ever done it with an attack helicopter? Let me tell you. It's pretty fly."

"What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity !"

"When I see a ""How am I driving?"" sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence"

"Did you hear about those chicken proof yards? They're impeckable."