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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a student and an alien ? Something from another universe -ity !"

"I'm not saying he ate the candy canes off the bottom of the Christmas tree I'm just saying my dog's breath was minty fresh this morning."

"What do you call a bull that masturbates? Beef Jerky."

"There's only one downside of putting a woman on the $20 bill. That downside is that the $20 bill is now only worth $15.66"

"Why was six afraid of seven Because seven was a registered six offender"

"What does a philosopher put his/her food on? A contemplate"

"From my handwriting identification skills. I have carefully deduced that Santa is my secret Valentine every year."

"I love when people spend 7 minutes trying to back into a parking space just so they can leave ""quicker"""

"My friends joke he made up!! Why can you ask a NewZealander how many sexual partners they have had? Because he would fall asleep counting all the sheep. (Btw we are Australian sooo)"

"A man falls in love with a nun and they run away together... The church says it doesn't mind, as long as he doesn't get into the habit."