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Joke of the Day

"Ever since Crystal signed my yearbook in 4th grade, all of my summers have been rad and I haven't changed, just like she asked."

Next Joke
 
"What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wipes his butt"
"What's worse, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care."
"Which November holiday is a weed smoker's favorite? Danksgiving."
"Wife: [looking at bank statement] what's this huge charge from Clones R Us? Me: [sends group text to 7 other me's] she's on to us"
"Why is Six afraid of Seven? Porque Siete ocho Nueve!"
"""No, everything's fine"" must've been a great phrase to say before women got hold of it."
"I really want to kill my roommate but I just dont know if I could live with myself."
"BOUNCER: Sorry, buddy - planets only. PLUTO: I'm on the list. BOUNCER: Nope. *Jurassic World walks in* PLUTO: Oh you cannot be serious."
"Properly relocating a cavewoman Q: Why did the caveman drag his cavewoman around by the hair? A: Because if he dragged her around by the feet she would fill up with dirt."