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Joke of the Day

"And now the most difficult task known to man: Quickly boarding a plane, stowing your carry-on, and sitting the fuck down."

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"I have diabetes.... There's no sugar coating it."
"Why did Steve Jobs lose on the X Factor? because Sam sung better than him"
"my ex-girlfriend named my penis Trump, Because it talked a big game to get inside, left her disappointed, and she wanted to get rid of it in 4 years or less..."
"What is a priest's favorite candy? Sacramentos"
"Future Headline: ""Trump Caught On Tape Eating Newborn Babies, Hillary Caught Using Friend's Netflix Password Undecideds Still On The Fence"""
"What do we want? Doppler effect! When do we want it? nooaaaaAAAwwww!"
"Seafaring language makes me uncomfortable, so no, I would not like a chips ahoy cookie or any other maritime treats, thank you."
"What do you call... Nuts on a wall? - walnuts Nuts on a chest? - chestnuts Nuts on your chin? - a dick in your mouth!"
"We should teach North Korea a lesson and send them James Franco."
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