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Joke of the Day

"I woke up last Friday to find a letter from West Africa in my e-mail. Saturday morning, there was one from Nigeria and today, there was one from Jamacia. I have the feeling I am being black mailed...."

"There's no 5 second rule at my house. The dog is much quicker than that."

"trampoline Back in the days in was called a jumpoline, but than your mama used it."

"My Medical Emergency Contact is a girl from college who promised she'd pluck any stray hairs off my face if I slipped into a coma."

"i wanna get a huge pile of rocks for my driveway so i can park my car like a range rover dealership"

"How does trump fire a gun? He tells the bullet it's fired."

"My car keeps pulling to the right forcing me to steer left. Either the alignment is off or I'm trying to drive a Republican."

"""What did you do today, mommy?"" ""I invented names, like 'Grand Theft Anal' and 'Mortal Cumbath"" on Twitter, and you?"""

"Donald Trump is the only person in the world who achieved this and made a history. He won an argument against a woman"