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Joke of the Day

"The wife came home last night and asked ""Is there anything on tv?"" I said ""yeah,dust!"" And then the fight started."

"Pac-man walks into Pizzeria... and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic."

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? A1: You need a quarter to use the phone."

"What did Little Red Riding Hoods boyfriend say when he was asked about their sex life? It's all good in the Hood!"

"You know what's the difference between a housewife and a politician? The housewife thinks about doing her taxes while having sex. The politician thinks about having sex while spending your taxes."

"It didn't take long for Japan to illustrate Rousey's knockout. See? http://imgur.com/NSLx1SZ EDIT: Link works now."

"Facebook Friend: I woke up at 3:30am so I could sneak in a 8 mile run. Me: I skipped showering so I could sleep an extra 15 minutes."

"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month."

"I finished sixth form, I finished university, and I've bought a house, and yet the white walkers haven't arrived."

"Dear naps, I'm sorry I was a jerk to you in kindergarten"