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Joke of the Day

"I finished sixth form, I finished university, and I've bought a house, and yet the white walkers haven't arrived."

"I just saw a car with a big ""S"" on it... Look at the ""S"" car go !"

"As a kid, I put snowballs in the blender to make a slushy. Snowballs was a good cat..."

"I don't know about you, but I can't wait to be ashamed about what I do this weekend."

"Why your mother had you Your mother did not get an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with you because she wanted you, but because the abortion cost more then keeping you alive."

"Look out man! You know the difference between driving in the fog and 69ing is? You can't see the asshole in front of you driving in the fog."

"Cats are about as useful as a football bat."

"Anyone know any good HP Lovecraft jokes? I only know a few Old Ones."

"If sleep is the cousin of death, then nap-kins are at least relatives."

"What is the swamp-dwellers favorite form of extraterrestrial life? the Martians"