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Joke of the Day

"It didn't take long for Japan to illustrate Rousey's knockout. See? http://imgur.com/NSLx1SZ EDIT: Link works now."

"What does a Boston terrier sound like? Bahk bahk. Wicked bahk."

"I bought a new boomerang... but I couldn't throw away my old one."

"*accidentally walks into women's restroom* *plays it cool* *sits down* *finds comfort here* *changes name to Janice* *is alive* *is free*"

"I have a dream that my son will one day live in a nation where he will not be judged by the size of his boat but by the motion of his ocean."

"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."

"If I had to rate racist jokes... I would rate black jokes a 3/5 and arab jokes a 9/11"

"The scarecrow won employee of the month again... He's outstanding in his field."

"Working on a screen play that involves zombies invading a prom. I'm calling it ""Prom Nom Nom"""

"Those novelty New Years glasses look so stupid. So I wear glasses that say ""Yesterday"" because it makes me wise beyond my years."