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Joke of the Day
"What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month."
Next Joke
"Fat people. You can't run, but you can't hide either."
"April showers bring May flowers Mayflowers bring Smallpox."
"""I'm excited for the continental breakfast"" *sees a buffet just full of ice cubes* ""What the..."" Sign: Today's Continent is Antartica"
"Why is Hannibal so rich? Well, he save on groceries."
"I have a lift off a colleague to work everyday, and always feel ill when we go under bridges.... I think I must have carpool tunnel syndrome."
"I used to think that ""Lacrosse""... Was what the French called that thing that Jesus carried on his back."
"Hey banks, enough with the ""Thank you for banking with us"". We only have like 3 options and you're all terrible."
"Bro: *on phone* Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE! Dude: You're so whipped. Bro: What? I just got her to rent Babe instead of The Notebook."
"I got a new fishing boat. I call it the master baiter."