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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference... between a gazpacho bean and a chickpea? I've never had a gazpacho bean on my face."

"Why can't ethiopians take med pills? Cause they can't take 'em with empty stomach."

"Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No, but they had an Apple. "

"Before I get out of an elevator, I hug every single person in there with me and whisper in their ear ""You've taught me so much."""

"What sort of drug does a duck use? Quack cocaine"

"A Nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket ...and says ""some asshole's got my pen"""

"I used to do drugs i still do, but i used to to. -Mitch rip the legendary Mitch Hedberg"

"Making reservations for one at a fancy restaurant because every now and then, I like to be wined and dined before I take advantage of myself"

"My friends say I'm shallow... because I won't sleep with someone who's 200."

"What comes first? The Chicken or the Cart!"