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Joke of the Day

"Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*"

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"What do you call presents after you've opened them? Pasts"
"What's worse than finding a hole in your condom? Finding a condom in your hole."
"Why do they call it PMS? Because mad cow disease was taken"
"When is a car not a car? When it turns into a parking lot."
"What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common? They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV"
"Kardashian How many Kardashians does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. They just hold it up because the world revolves around them."
"What's a paralympian's worst nightmare? Testing positive for WD-40"
"FREEKY BLONDE Blonde1- Hey can I have some of your shampoo? Blonde2- Yeah, why not use yours? Blonde1- Mine is for dry hair and I got it wet already"
"So there was a bomb threat at my school today... Tomorrow's gonna be a blast."
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