198827

Joke of the Day

"What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common? They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV"

"Your momma is so fat.... ...that scientists measured gravitational waves when she moved."

"What did the boy buy at the grocery store? Too Bad, I'm not telling you!"

"3yr old had a urine test today so we gave him smarties for peeing in a cup. Now he and his brother are pissing in EVERYTHING for more candy."

"Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home? Me: I don't even think about work at work."

"The boiled water died It shall be mist"

"How do you make a dwarf taller? Ge-gnome therapy"

"A friend of mine accidentally deleted my game data and told me to calm down ...So after a nice cup of tea, i hid his body"

"Dammit I hate when the bus breaks down and I am far and away the most delicious looking passenger."

"A gymnast walks into a bar. He gets a two point deduction and ruins his chances of getting a medal."