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Joke of the Day

"I want to leave this world the way I entered it ... With a woman desperately trying to get me out of her vagina."

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"Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled"
"Where does Santa get presents for bad kids? Kohl's."
"""outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend"" ""inside of a dog, its too dark to read""-Groucho Marx"
"How do you know if a hippo is in your oven? The door won't close"
"It takes a big man to cry but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man."
"Women's rights."
"That's the hardest thing about killing a toddler? My dick."
"How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree? If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded."
"A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a door. And a staircase. I don't think hes alright now."
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