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Joke of the Day

"The bar (Dad joke) First guy walks into a bar. Second guy walks into the same bar. Third guy ducks."

"The device will work much better, if you turn it on."

"Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!"

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds"

"Went to ""The Social Network."" I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids."

"Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party? He was going as a banana."

"I was speaking to my friend He was telling me about a plan he had to change all the numbers in the world into roman numerals. I said ""Not on my watch"""

"Why does Donald Trump take xanax? For hispanic attacks"

"Clear before beer, and your clear to steer... into other cars or near by pedestrians killing them and or yourself so don't fucking drink and drive you fucking moron!"

"A blonde is driving in her car and turns on the radio.. It says that two Brazilian men were killed. She stats crying and says, ""How many is a brazilian?"""