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Joke of the Day

"Went to ""The Social Network."" I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids."

"Why should you never rendezvous with a pack of wolves? Because they are *meet eaters!*"

"Poor Sally! Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock (who's there? ) Not Sally. Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere."

"When you're trying to watch something and your whole family decides to have a competition to see who can be the loudest."

"*quietly tries to open bag of chips while fiance is reading her wedding vows*"

"7 barges into bathroom while I'm showering, laughs & says ""I saw your peanut."" He either mispronounced a word or made a hurtful observation."

"The Pizza Delivery Guy said ""Thank you"" but his face said: ""Porn really, really lied to me about what this job was like."""

"A Mexican gets deported."

"Beards are a privilege, not a right"

"The inventor of the Frisbee died yesterday. Per his final wishes, he'll be thrown onto the roof and forgotten about until next summer."