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Joke of the Day

"What do women and saxophones have in common? They both blow and make different noises when you finger them."

"The children of Amazon cannibal tribes think Chuck Norris is the Easter Bunny because he hides body parts for them to find every Easter morning."

"Jokes on you TSA my body is 70% water and I just snuck it onto the plane"

"Everyone around me keeps telling me I'm mean. Which is absurd. Plus, they're ugly."

"DID YOU KNOW: The average Apple worker works 16 hours longer than the average Apple battery."

"My wife is so married that she even stopped blowing out the candles on her birthday cake cause she doesn't want me gettin' any ideas."

"What's the difference between dark matter and Black Lives Matter? Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system"

"Which songs do planets sing? Neptunes."

"What did the other traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look! I'm changing!"

"What's the difference between a green bean chickpea? #EDIT: What's the difference between a green bean **and a** chickpea?# No one has ever paid to have a green bean on their chest"