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Joke of the Day

"A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three He says, ""uno, dos..."" *poof* and he disappeared without a tres."

Next Joke
 
"Daughter: How was your day, Daddy? Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS!?!"
"My wife asked me 'What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? And if you haven't figured it out by now you'll never figure it out will you.'"
"Why can't a blonde dial 911 She can't find the eleven. Not sure if someone already posted this joke but a friend told me so I had to post it."
"My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with ""LOL"" is ""a representation of everything that is wrong with me."""
"Remember when President-Elect Trump said immigrants were going to take our jobs? It's all true! Just ask Michelle Obama!"
"I had a dream about mufflers and tailpipes and woke up exhausted"
"So I ran out of soap a few days ago... It feels like the most American thing I've ever done: lessening my dependence on foreign oils."
"When I was young, I stopped believing in Santa despite massive peer pressure. You could say I was a rebel without a Clause."
"People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you had enough money, you can have a key made."