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Joke of the Day

"So I ran out of soap a few days ago... It feels like the most American thing I've ever done: lessening my dependence on foreign oils."

"I wonder how long it takes a giraffe to throw up?"

"Your hips may not lie but your pushup bra is a sociopath."

"How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?"

"A girl gets fired from her job with a Vegas outcall massage service Seems she rubbed too many guys the wrong way."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Tyson."

"I have a friend whose thighs don't touch..I was jealous until a breeze came up..It sounded like a turbo fan in wind tunnel. Small favors."

"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? he had a reptile dysfunction..."

"I wrote an essay about American Patriotism Then I pointed at it and started shouting ' You Essay! You Essay!'"

"What did the robber with an errection say? This is a stick-up."