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Joke of the Day

"all pants are breakaway pants if you're angry enough"

"My first sex was like 100m dash... ... with 8 black men and a gun."

"I had phone sex for the first time the other day... My dick got stuck in the 8! I tried to dial 911 but that just made it worse! It was a rotary!"

"What is a rednecks favorite pie during the holidays? Pump-Kin"

"This fortune cookie I just had said 'Off yourself' & my lucky numbers on the back was the phone number to a local gun shop."

"My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."

"Ummm yeah I want one of those phone case's where I can put my credit cards in with my phone so when I lose my phone I'm also broke. Genius!"

"Jackie Chan is in the new 'Star Wars' He's a Thai Fighter"

"Beer commercials tell us we should drink ""responsibly"". So I'm starting a college fund for my kids with all the empty cans."

"How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ? A merry Christmas to ewe"