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Joke of the Day

"What did the girl's suicide note say when she hung herself? *sings* I WANNA SWIIIING FROM THE CHANDELIERRRRRR"

"What do you call a Honry Micheal J Fox? A Viberator"

"What degree did the butt get? A Master of Fine Farts"

"When I claimed I could post the funniest joke ever on reddit, everyone laughed at me. They're not laughing now."

"The most tedious aspect of my job is the part where I have to jiggle the mouse every 30 minutes to keep the screensaver from activating."

"COLLEGE MEMORIES: After the girl I was kissing used my bathroom, I noticed my toilet seat was left up. So I asked if I could suck her dong."

"How do you measure the molar mass of guacamole? With Avocado's Constant."

"I asked the manager if I could sample the sausage and that's when I was asked to leave Costco. THE SAUSAGE Not YOUR sausage"

"What's the difference between Jimmy Savile and a greyhound. The Greyhound waits for the hair to appear first."

"My friend taught his female dog to add. That sumbitch."