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Joke of the Day

"The most tedious aspect of my job is the part where I have to jiggle the mouse every 30 minutes to keep the screensaver from activating."

Next Joke
 
"Tis the season to kidnap a tree, hold it hostage, keep it from its family during the holidays, then leave it for dead."
"My 10 year old just told his friend I'm cranky cus I have my ""pyramid""."
"I attached all my watches together into a belt today. It's a complete waist of time."
"I'm dating a feminist historian Not to brag, but I am -*really*- good in bed. She thinks I've been fucking her for thousands of years."
"What do female ghosts have? BooOOOooobs."
"""I am going on a trip."" ""Mushrooms or acid?"""
"70 year old man asked his wife... Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls? Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it."
"Good Ol' Fashion My favorite thing about a good ol' fashion DVD porno is the gag reel."
"Found a quarter on the ground the other day You could say it 'changed' my life"