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Joke of the Day

"Die Hard (1988):A cop stops terrorists in a building Therapist:Sounds cool but lets discuss how ur parents named u the title/year of a movie"

"Shoe repair guy: so what happened? [cut to me trying to flush myself into the Ministry of Magic from my toilet] Me: I stepped in a..puddle"

"why didn't the american leek want to talk to the japanese leek? because it was negi"

"How do you identify a vegan? Listen closely."

"In 20 years I will publish a book Titled 'The Complete List of the Boyfriends of Taylor Swift'."

"Accidentally got two shots of hand sanitizer so if you need me I'll be rubbing my hands together for the rest of my life."

"Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands? Where did he keep them? In a handbag.mons"

"What did the ancient Greek mother say when her sons toga got torn? Euripides, Eumenides"

"TIL that 4/3 people... Struggle with fractions"

"What's in Pandora's box? A fine case of herpes."