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Joke of the Day

"In 20 years I will publish a book Titled 'The Complete List of the Boyfriends of Taylor Swift'."

"Turkey bacon is a lot like normal bacon except that IT'S NOT AND IT NEEDS TO GO BACK TO HELL, WHERE IT CAME FROM."

"what the? why are all the prices $4.20? and where are all the potato chips? *walmart rollback guy is passed out in a box of clearance DVDs*"

"If you reply with ""sky"" each time I ask what's up, I shall assume you're homeless."

"What's the best thing about having sex with 29 year olds? There's 20 of them..."

"How do you fire a Chinese cook? Ask him to take wok."

"You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls."

"How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb? You dont know, *coz you weren't there, man!*"

"What's the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg"

"The squirrels on campus are getting bold. I was eating a pop tart outside and a squirrel came over and stole my credit card information"