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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally got two shots of hand sanitizer so if you need me I'll be rubbing my hands together for the rest of my life."

"Kind of a kid joke What kind of cereal do zombies like? Kellog's All Brain"

"Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind"

"""I'm gonna make a cool new social media site for college kids, but only for a few years. Then it'll be a mom scrapbook"" ~ Mark Zuckerberg"

"If you're French in the bedroom, and Italian in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European!"

"There's a ghost in the house! CALL DR.BOO!"

"*Takes gift wrapping paper to the counter* Her: Did you want to buy that? Me: No, I just wanted to hold it for a while."

"No, of course I'm not mad. It's fine. *goes home, starts building a Death Star."

"Why can't the main character of Fallout 4 get a girlfriend? Because they're too young for him"

"why do people live in regular houses when there are steakhouses"