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Joke of the Day

"Who was the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"Why did they have to call Aquaman Aquaman Because they couldn't call him Seaman"

"What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears? A gf gif gift grift"

"A man is almost hit by a car. Chrysler averted."

"How do you fit an elephant in a teacup? You take the f out of way. ~~say it out loud if you don't get it~~"

"What noise does a cat make when it drives past really fast? Meeeeeeeoooooowwwww"

"I'm thinking of changing my name to Attention so i can get paid"

"Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant? She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed."

"My friends were deciding how much alcohol to get... One of them wanted one fifth and another one wanted to get five fifths. We decided on a 3/5ths compromise."

"Why don't women wear skirts during winter? They'll get chapped lips!"