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Joke of the Day

"My 5-year-old niece's twist on an old pirate joke **Question:** Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet? **Answer:** Because his 'I' was all jacked up. *...she cracks me up*"

"Just dyed a bald eagle red, white & blue & forced my family to eat 3 apple pies each. We're all crying. It's awesome."

"Any room can be a panic room if she tells you ""we need to talk"""

"What do you call a kid who tells bad jokes? A redditor"

"What's Mr. Skeltal's favorite candy? Dootsie rolls."

"What do you with a crazy girl knocking on your door? You don't let her out."

"Can you really take sticks and twigs and make them into clothing? Sew it wood seam"

"A chemistry lab is like a giant party; Some people like dropping acid, others prefer dropping the base."

"""Yo dog, this yogurt is mad delicious."" -Me, eating yogurt, and talking to my dog. I'm gonna die alone aren't I?"

"Who won the animal race? The giraffe and the aardvark were running neck and neck but the aardvark won by a nose!"