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Joke of the Day
"Two fish were in a tank One of them turns to the other and says, ""how do you drive this thing?"""
Next Joke
"How is Budweiser like Making Love in a Canoe? It's Fucking Close to Water."
"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."
"ME: [rubbing stomach after a big meal] WAITER: please stop touching me"
"Free admission to Disney On Ice!! Just push your knee against your eyes and you'll get to watch This Knee On Eyes."
"*Pulls away from Kissing* Me: This isn't weird is it? Cat: Meow"
"What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One's a slimy, scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is delicious dipped in batter and deep-fried. *-Hannibal Lecter*"
"A man got hit hard in the head with a bottle of 7up. He's alright though,it was a soft drink."
"boyfriend jeans are over. in 2017 its all about wearing your boyfriend's dog's jeans"
"Your honor, may I approach the bench? Judge: You may *benches 200lbs in 3 sets of 20 reps* The defense rests"