20996

Joke of the Day

"Alcohol doesn't get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk. People drunk people drunk people"

"How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from? Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald."

"I still remember taking down that bullying 12 year old on the playground like it was yesterday. My Dad was so proud. Ah, to be 30 again!"

"Some people have 32 teeth, some have 10. It's simple meth."

"Doctor then says to Pagliacci... ""New treatment. Get on stage and forget vagueness and uncertainty, or else the twelve guys I've already sent to go see you are going to fucking kill themselves."""

"How can Rihanna tell when Chris Brown's cheating on her? The brand of makeup on his knuckle isn't hers."

"What's the difference ? What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went? There is no difference, you always regret both!"

"When toasting the holidays Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a ""Bud."""

"What did Chris Brown say to Rihanna the first time he saw her? I'd hit it"

"A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office... Wearing nothing but seran wrap. The doctor looked at the man and replied, ""I can clearly see you're nuts."""