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Joke of the Day

"Me: Help! i need my stomach pumped. 911 Operator: Did you ingest poison, ma'am? Me: No. Pizza."

"Trump's pussy grabbing days are behind him... But now he has his finger on a different red button."

"An Israeli is going through passport control at JFK... The immigration officer asks: ""Occupation?"" The Israeli says: ""No. I'm just visiting."""

"Chuck Norris wanted to make jokes great again So he bought a trumpet for every time we make an horrible pun."

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only ""comes"" once a year"

"What do you call a group of 10 insects that live in a housing complex? Tenants"

"An employee saw his boss fucking a girl inside a car. Employee: ""Nice boss, you enjoying alone, when will it be my turn?"" Boss: ""After the girl"""

"Three mods walk into a bar... [deleted]"

"What do dogs have that no other animal has ? Puppy dogs !"

"I've done some calculations, and I figure, that at my current rate of pay I could live happily for the rest of my life. If I died tomorrow."