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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about Kombucha... ...It's just not my cup of tea."

"Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I'm sobering up."

"How do you confuse an idiot? Give him two spades and ask him to take his pick."

"A short facts list 1) 50% of facts are made up 2) I made up the first fact"

"If you watch The Matrix backwards, a young man slowly comes down from a wild acid trip before returning to his low-level tech job."

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? You can't milk a cow for 14 years... I'm going to hell."

"Which nut could pimp the Prince of Darkness? Mack-a-Dameon."

"My signature move at family dinners is waiting for someone to put their drink down at the table & then moving it when they go to the buffet."

"Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard? They're all paws."

"The Easter Bunny doesn't always drink, but when he does it's hopscotch."