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Joke of the Day

"[comes home from store] Wife: [shaking her head] Let me guess... earmuffs were on sale? Me: [wearing 17 pairs of earmuffs] WHAT?"

Next Joke
 
"My coworker left my office an hour ago, but the smell of his cologne remains, like some kind of douchbag ghost."
"If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age."
"Why should you avoid people dressed as celery? They could be stalking you!"
"What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? You can't hear an enzyme"
"What do you call an ill-tempered German? A sour kraut."
"Maybe if I swallow enough magnets I'll become attractive."
"My girlfriend's father is pretty religious and said we couldn't make love... which is rather disappointing because he's extremely handsome."
"Why do people say ""To be frank..."" when they're about to be brutally honest? WHAT IF FRANK LIED!? WHAT IF I WANT TO BE MARLENE!?"
"What do you call a crazy person wearing pantaloons? A pantalunatic."
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