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Joke of the Day

"Baby if you were a fruit - you'd be a fine-apple. But if you were a vegetable, I'd visit you in hospital."

"Susan broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine."

"Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from jail? The headline read: ""Small Medium at Large."""

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data..."

"I send flowers ""From Steve"" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn"

"Why did Santa name his penis Conjunction? Because it joins Clauses."

"Strange that the Bible has no bibliography."

"I was speaking to a lad at work called krowski. I asked, ""So are you Polish?"" He said, ""No, my great grandad was."" I said, ""Oh, so you're just a tad pole?"""

"I organized a threesome for (NAME)'s last night of freedom. There were a couple of no-shows, but he still had fun."

"Dating tip: Walk up to a girl in a club, smile, look into her eyes, take her hand and walk away. If she wants her hand back, she'll find you"