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Joke of the Day

"Women with pasts interest men... they hope history will repeat itself."

"Watching a birth is beautiful. Not knowing any of the parties in the delivery room & singing Salt-N-Pepa's ""Push It"" will get you arrested."

"So I was talking to a Christian mother We were talking and she said ""I tell my kids Santa doesn't exist, I don't want them to believe in stuff that isn't real."""

"If HBO released all ten episodes of Game of Thrones at once, maybe I'd be able to remember the characters' names from episode to episode."

"[inventing trees] Angel: what purpose do they serve? God: cats climb em Angel: can they climb back down? God [inventing the fire dept]: nope"

"What is the difference between a cat and a comma? Cats have claws at the end of their paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause."

"I think I'll tell my kids that the Titanic sunk because Jack and Rose had sex before marriage."

"Knowledge is knowing that papers are best written with alcohol and edited with caffeine. Wisdom is realizing that this does not make a Jagerbomb a study tool"

"Chuck Norris can't fly... But he does it anyway."

"The Lannister family... Is so inbred that they are one step away from being sandwiches."