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Joke of the Day

"Ellen Pao has a good taste for revenge. Lawyers made her look bad, now she makes lawyers look bad. I'll be enjoying my shadow ban, thank you."

"me: hello darkness my old friend darkness: you are going to hate me but I forgot your name"

"Stephen Hawking wrote another book, It's about time."

"What's the best thing about blow job? 5 minutes' silence"

"What is a duck's favorite dance ? The quackstep !"

"I'm not sure if my foots been asleep for the last 3 days or if I have diabetes."

"What do you call a circle of $100 bills? Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)"

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A: a rip off"

"Whats the difference between an environmentalist and a dog sitting in the rain? eventually the dog sitting in the rain will stop whinging."

"So the American people's choices for President of the United States will most likely be Donald Trump or Hilary Clinton. That's it. That's the joke. There is no punchline."