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Joke of the Day

"""Hey son, we really love you but we posted a picture of you on Instagram and nobody liked it which is why we're giving you up for adoption."""

"What did Trump say about the Middle East? Iran for president, then Iraq the nation."

"You know how people called Richard get called Dick? Friend 1: You know people called Richard get called Dick. How do you get Dick from Richard? Friend 2: Depends how you ask him"

"What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?"

"That burrito didn't agree with me. And then I was like ""Why am I arguing with a burrito?!"""

"its all fun and games till someone gets hurt... then its hilarious"

"Why is it dangerous for a lawyer to walk onto a construction site when plumbers are working? Because they might connect the drain line to the wrong suer."

"Genderfluid? I just call that semen"

"My grandpa said that my generation relies too much on technology So I said ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" And I unplugged his life support."

"Canada's four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction."