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Joke of the Day
"Canada's four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction."
Next Joke
"Complementing a mustache should be a good thing I don't know why she took it as an insult. Edit: *compliment. I knew something seemed weird"
"9: My room is clean. Me: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
"What would you name a star wars movie featuring Pluto? This is really just a bad pun, but to me those are the best kind of jokes Pluto strikes from the back and destroys Uranus."
"This Friday millions of people will risk getting trampled to get the best seat on a car This is commonly referred to as 'Rebecca Black Friday'."
"So I attempt to shoot myself with this gun? Do I whack off during or after? (Kid who grew up on Chatroulette playing Russian Roulette)"
"Took a poop without my phone. Had no idea what to do with my hands. Did the Macarena. What a day."
"Every chef on Chopped's like ""I was medically dead for 3 yrs & my wife married the guy who pushed me off that bridge. My specialty is bao."""
"I know a guy named Bill who stuck his dick in penut butter. He was fucking nuts."
"What did the little black kid think when he got diarrhea? He was melting"