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Joke of the Day

"My grandpa said that my generation relies too much on technology So I said ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" And I unplugged his life support."

"911? Yes, I was making donuts and... yes, donuts... yes, I'll hold. DAMN YOU GUYS ARE FAST!"

"ME, TEXTING MY CRUSH: have any plans tonight? HER: no not yet!! i'm totally free and available ME: ok well have a good night whatever u do"

"I went to my first Ethiopian electronic concert yesterday The DJ was MT Stomach"

"Hilter was weird You would think a pig would like people who don't eat pork."

"If anyone says YOLO to me I say YOLBYPCFAC (You Only Live Because Your Parents Couldn't Find A Condom). I hope it catches on..."

"HR: The delivery job is yours. Me: Great! HR: Do u have a reliable car? Me: Yes. HR: Model? Me: A little in college. How is that relevant?"

"Do you know the worst thing about sex? The part where you have to bury them afterwards."

"I saw on the news today that a dwarf got pickpocketed. I don't know how anyone could stoop so low!"

"Did you hear the rumour about butter? Never mind, I better not spread it."