140791

Joke of the Day

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. [Credit Jack Handy, I believe]"

"What do you call it when Batman leaves church early? Christian Bail Credit goes to my friendly local pizza guy"

"Why isn't there a Price is Right porn yet? Nobody's willing to cum on down"

"One of my favorite high expectation Asian jokes You masturbate? Why you no doctorbate?"

"what gets wet as it dries? your sister"

"What is a toad's favorite genre of music? Hip hop."

"Can you really take sticks and twigs and make them into clothing? Sew it wood seam"

"Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? Just taught my 15 year old German Shepard to play dead! Cocky bastard is trying to set a record too! Been that way for eight hours now..."

"[hiding in pantry from murderer] [quietly tries to open bag of chips]"

"The dictator forced everyone to work in the butter industry. Some men just want to watch the world churn."