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Joke of the Day

"Do you think you'll get fake teeth when you're old and gray? Might as well. Nothing dentured, nothing gained."

"You had me at ""we've got the place surrounded"""

"whats the difference between my sex life and racism racism actually exists"

"What kind of pictures do hermit crabs take? Shellfies"

"Why did the English major break up with the pilot? Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over."

"What do Aaron Hernandez and Jared Fogle now have in common? Matching uniforms."

"[i walk in with broken ribs and face bleeding] yeah but you should see the other guy! [cut to: horse just chilling in a field enjoying life]"

"Friends and Family of Jedis should be called ""The Force Kin"""

"you miss 100% of shots you don't take"

"Water is the cure to everything in life If you need to lose weight, drink water. If you need clearer skin, drink water. If your tired of your wife, drown her."