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Joke of the Day

"They're relea$ing two $eparate film$ ba$ed on the 3rd book in the'Hunger Game$' trilogy. I'm $hocked. Totally $urpri$ing."

"What do you get when you cut an Avocado into 6.02 x 10^23 pieces? a guacaMOLE"

"Try saying ""I heaven this order"" three times. Nothing wrong if you do :)"

"I saw an oldman get hit by a car. He didn't hear me say ""look out!"" Because I didn't say anything."

"If there's one good thing about the election of Trump, it's the greatly lowered odds of being attacked by Russia. After all, they're not going to key their own car."

"First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl that was my supper."

"Starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse."

"Why don't they play poker in Africa? Because there's cheetahs."

"If I ever get a llama, I'm totally naming it Dalai."

"I got accepted into Harvard's medical program I just have to die first and give them my body"