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Joke of the Day

"Tomorrow I'm opening the time capsule I buried as a kid. Can't wait to see how big my puppy got."

"How many social justice warriors does it take to change a lightbulb? Lol they can't change anything"

"Make sure you don't forget the 'R' when you're Googling, ""movies of Gary Oldman."""

"Mrs. Claus can't have kids Do you know why Mrs. Claus can't have kids? Because Santa only comes once a year, and that's down the chimney."

"I'd be scared to buy an LG Tv Liam Neeson may find me!"

"Home alone tonight The fridge is making weird noises I think the beer wants out...."

"Nice try ""blocked number"", but I don't even answer the phone for people I know."

"what's the medical term for a female-to-male gender reassignment surgery? an addadictomy"

"What company makes Nerds? Your mom."

"A termite walks into a club. 'Is the bar tender here?'"