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Joke of the Day
"Tomorrow I'm opening the time capsule I buried as a kid. Can't wait to see how big my puppy got."
Next Joke
"RIP boiled water. You will be mist."
"Atoms make up everything... so naturally you shouldn't trust them."
"If you're driving a Porsche in traffic I'm not letting you in because life already let you in enough."
"What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after!"
"Padme: Dating is scaring. I just want to find a nice guy who's not going to murder me. Anakin: You've chosen wisely."
"Why did the broom take a nap? It was sweepy. ಠ\_ಠ"
"I miss the good old days when no one knew what gluten was."
"What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? a tire."
"Single people think marriage is just a word ... Once you are married you realize it's a sentence."