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Joke of the Day

"So I decided to be a nude model for a local art class... they didn't ask me to do it, and I am starting to get weird looks."

"So, I was working on my truck today.. And the brake cleaner started to get me high I forgot what I was doing. So, I was working on my truck today..."

"Yah I ordered a large pizza but it's thin crust/ light cheese so basically it's a salad ."

"Whats 1+0? Babies"

"Why do the Scottish wear kilts? Sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away"

"I wonder if in 100 years, ghosts of today will spell out ""swag"" or ""bae"" on the Ouija boards"

"You know if you stab a salad 23 times It becomes a chopped salad"

"I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the Spanish in position."

"When Asian tourists ask me to take their picture for them; I always say, ""Okay let's do one more but this time don't squint"

"What is the difference between a priest and a zit? A zit wait to come on your face till your 13"