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Joke of the Day

"My dirty language got me suspended in school but many years later I get rewarded with stars and retweets, never give up on your dreams kids."

"What's the difference between Jews and Pizza? Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven."

"Two reddit moderators walk into a bar [removed]"

"Need a clean joke about sexually transmitted diseases for my presentation tomorrow. Please help! Update: I chose to go with ""my name is _____ _____ and I have STDs... (pause) as my topic"""

"If your uncle jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?"

"my shower thoughts kept getting deeper and deeper and deeper... then i realized it was because i had the drain-plug in."

"A man is with his wife... Just look at the first comment, the joke is probably better."

"A mother publicly argued with his son... ...Somewhere along the lines, the mother yelled to his son: ""You motherfucker!"" The first thought that came to my mind was ""Wow, that's a Lil TMI for me"""

"Which hotel chain was Nikita Khrushchev's favourite? Premier Inn."

"A week before Abraham Lincoln was shot he was in Monroe, Maryland... A week before Kennedy was shot he was in Marilyn Monroe."