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Joke of the Day

"my shower thoughts kept getting deeper and deeper and deeper... then i realized it was because i had the drain-plug in."

"Someone had the audacity to delete every version of Microsoft Office from my computer. I have no Words."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? R, C, I and P are all pretty much equal"

"My orgies are like the Special Olympics... There's lots of drooling and everyone is a winner."

"The UN general assembly."

"My out-of-office voicemail greeting is just a solid three minutes of dry heaving."

"Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers."

"I made a false deity out of bubble wrap today I call Him Pop Idol"

"What do you say when comforting a grammar nazi? There...their...they're.."

"Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it."