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Joke of the Day

"Two reddit moderators walk into a bar [removed]"

"What does Kim Jong Un do when he's angry? [removed]"

"What do you call a number that won't sit still? A roamin' numeral. :P"

"[opens jar of olives and pours them in my garden] ""Now grow to be a restaurant"""

"I sometimes pretend to hate Nickelback more than I do so you will like me."

"My New Year's resolution was to buy a velcro wall So far I'm sticking to it"

"My wife left me because I couldn't control my pasta touching fetish... I'm feeling cannelloni right now"

"*gets pulled over by police* *shows a little skin* Officer: ""Who's skin is that? Please step out of the vehicle sir."""

"I saw Denzel Washington on the street today. I said ""Hey Denzel! Can I get a picture with you?"" And he's all like ""I'm not Denzel Washington you racist piece of shit."" Classic Denzel."

"What do a black guy and a paraplegic have in common? They're both only three fifths of a person"