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Joke of the Day

"SOMEBODY: she had a boyfriend who looked like that girlfriend that you had in february of last year ME: what the hell are you talking about"

"Contrary to popular belief, it's actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress"

"When does Hillary Clinton have sex with Bill? maybe never but Bernie sanders lost big time in the primary today."

"A zombie apocalypse will be the only time you'll hear me say 'please don't eat me' ......aaaand send"

"What is the oldest joke in the book? The first one written"

"So I know this guy who is addicted to brake fluid... He says he can stop anytime."

"What's the number ten's favorite Spanish phrase? Diez mio!"

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work because the dog just goes ""Cool, now we're both barking!"""

"When Ted Cruz kisses a baby, its parents have to throw it out and start over."

"What did one quantum frog say to the other? Quibit."