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Joke of the Day

"Yelling at a dog to stop barking doesn't work because the dog just goes ""Cool, now we're both barking!"""

Next Joke
 
"What happened before the Big Bang? The Big Foreplay."
"*job interview* so tell me a fun fact about yourself Guy: well when I was 5 I fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exh- get the hell out"
"So the Dali-Lama walks into a pizza shop... and asks the pizza guy, ""Can you make me one with everything?"""
"A photo caption in the paper this am ""Bertha the ostrich take a break."" A break from what? Ostriching?"
"Took my date to Star Wars and dinner... to make sure BB-8."
"Let me drink about it and get back to you."
"What do you call a Mexican who loss his car? Carlos"
"Exit signs. They are on their way out."
"I hear crowded elevators smell different to midgets it's because of all the assholes"